Unlike Jeff Atwood I haven’t been avoiding the five things meme. I’ve been anxiously awaiting my inclusion in this sad chain letter of the blogosphere. It’s like getting asked to sit at the cool kids table in High School, only the opposite. So thanks Dwight Shih, and know that I’ll treasure this opportunity like I do that picture of me when I was five years old sitting naked in a sandbox with a sandy finger up my nose. What a great laugh that always got when my mom showed it to all my old girlfriends. Of course, being included at this extremely late date only serves to reinforce the fact that not only am I at the wrong lunch table, even the people at the table don’t know my name.

Here then are my five things:

1. I speak Mandinka. Really. Or at least I did many years ago. Now all I can seem to remember is “i cono fata” (my stomach is full). I must have eaten too much Bongo fish. My Spanish is a lot better.
2. I’m a recovering chess addict. People think I’m joking when I say this, but it’s true. You know it’s an addiction when it interferes with the rest of your life, provides no real enjoyment, and yet you keep doing it. I’m not saying I am good (although I can lose two simultaneous blindfold games), just that I won’t let myself play any more (when I get roped in I force myself to lose). I do still play with my 9 year old son. When he gets better I’ll have to stop.
3. I don’t like dogs. Other former paper boys know what I’m talking about.
4. I studied agriculture at Colorado State University (I went back to the programming thing after I got married).
5. I used to engage in social engineering and physical break-ins just for fun. I’d walk through companies I was doing consulting at without ever using a badge, I’d talk my way into getting temporary badges without using the correct channels, and I learned how to bypass the physical security (locks) at most doors. I never entered a company or door I didn’t have permission to enter, I just got in to the places I was supposed to get in to using improper means.

Let’s see if anyone else will bite. Next up, Obie Fernandez, Kiran Jonnalagadda, Reginald Braithwaite, Arto Bendiken, and Aristotle Pagaltzis. Pass on this chain blog to five random friends. Remember, Paul Graham broke this chain in 2006 and woke up to find he was a multimillionaire. Don’t let this happen to you!